The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

These last couple of weeks have been overly stressful.  I can’t remember a time in my life that I have been this stressed.  Good grief I was at Wal-Mart on Thursday and took my blood pressure and it was 136 over 91.  For me that is outrageous.  On a normal day I run about 110 over 76.  Seeing those numbers probably made the blood pressure go up even higher.  While some of the stress is something that I can handle the other stuff I wish would just go away and I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

Buying this house is one that I can deal with.  In the end it will be an awesome thing for our family, I just wish it would be over.  The loan part I can do without.  The being told things on our credit are good but there are two things that need to be paid before we can close, I can do without.  Of course those two things have to be the largest things on the credit report.  Have you ever tried to pull $1400 out off you butt in less than 2 weeks.  If you haven’t let me tell you I hope you never get the opportunity.

I also feel bad because for some of my friends this, buying a house, is a dream of theirs.  When I get excited about something to with the house I feel bad because in some way I feel that I am “beating” them at there own dream.  I know that we have worked hard to get this house.  We have saved, gone without and lived in some places that make us realize that getting our own house so totally ROCKS.

The other stressors I wish would run away and join the circus.  I have a long time friend, that was in a bad situation.  Her marriage of 16 years is over to her husband.  She left him in November and has been “on the run” since.  She ended up in South Eastern Oklahoma and was staying with a church pastor for a few weeks.  Her presence there was putting a strain on his family and she was asked to leave.  So she called us because we were the closest people she knew.  We were asked if Jane* and her two daughters could live with us until she found a place to live.

Forward one week later. I was at my wits end and totally lost what fuse I had left.  I started yelling at her about all of the things that had happened that week between us.  The asking for help and not accepting it in the way it was being offered.  I am one person, my family is only four people, and my network of people I know is also limited.  Though with that said the people I know can help her more than she could ever imagine if she would just listen and not have an answer to everything that is said.  Sometimes in life you just need to listen and not reply back.  This is a lesson Jane* still needs to learn along with other things.

When she got to our house I thought we could truly help her.  I am starting to wonder if I can.  Jane* is so hurt and scared she is just stuck.  My thoughts and ideas seem to be going in one ear and out the other.  When asked if this is where she wants to be her answer is she doesn’t know.  I don’t have a response to that.  How am I to help her if she doesn’t know what she needs help with?  The things she is asking for help with ends up in an argument of some kind.  I am at a loss with her at this point.  I gave her two weeks to find a place to live.  If it wasn’t for the kids she would have been gone that night.  My family is stressed right now and I can’t find the light at the end off any of this to save us anytime soon.

To recap

  • The good: Our loan was approved
  • The bad:  We have to pay off two things on our credit before we can sign our life away on a 30 year mortgage
  • The good:  I have friends that support me
  • The bad:  I feel bad that they are taking longer to reach there dreams than me
  • The good:  We have started packing up the apartment so we don’t end up moving in a hectic way like we are so very good at.
  • The bad:  I have no where to put the boxes.  Instead of a space invasion I have an invasion of boxes upon my living room.  Watching TV is almost not an option because you can’t see it from the couch or recliners.
  • The good:  My friend needed help getting out of a house and we came and got her and the kids
  • The bad:  This friend needs other help and I can’t figure out how to help her
  • The ugly:  I gave her two weeks to find a place to live becuase I can’t stand having her stay with us.  Essentially I kicked her out and I haven’t seen her in over a week because she had to have surgery.

   I feel like the worst person in the world

*For the purpose of this story I changed her name.

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3 Responses to “The Good, the Bad, the Ugly”

  1. You shouldn’t feel bad my dear… you need to take care of you and your family. You’re a wonderful, awesome, caring friend who is always there for other people…. sometimes people take advantage of that, and I’m very proud of you for putting your foot down. Keep your chin up, things will work out the way they’re supposed to.

  2. audiholycow Says:

    I know I shouldn’t but you know me…. I think about what everyone thinks of me even though I shouldn’t. It is a strong point and a low point for me in my personality.

  3. […] This month seemed to start stressful and stayed that way.  Along time friend of ours needed help so hubby and I went and “rescued” her.  Her and her two girls came and stayed with us […]

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