Fathers Day

I can’t say that I’ve ever had a good relationship with my dad. I can remember when I was little before my parents were divorced being daddy’s little girl. Somewhere that changed into a very uncomfortable relationship. The only time I talk to him is if I need something, for holidays, or our yearly trip out to Colorado. It seems that everytime we speak it just gets weirder.

I called to wish him a happy fathers day and this is about how it went.

Me: Hi Happy Fathers Day
Him: Thank You
Silence
Me: So when would be a good day to get together when we are out there
Him: Well the boys (my brothers for those who don’t know) are leaving on the 8th. So anytime would be okay.
Me: okay we have plans on these days. Which day would be best for you.
Him: Anytime would be okay.

Let me tell you this is about how the conversation went for another few minutes before I gave up on getting an answer out of him. I omitted some akward silence in there to save some time but you gett the picture. Our conversations are always like that. Why is it that I can’t seem to have a “normal” conversation with him. I can say that growing up we never really talked much either. I just lived in his house because I had no other choice. I always felt like I was always in the way and that they let me live there because they had to. Anytime I needed something I worried about asking for it for days before I would ask. I would try to think of ways to get what I needed without having to ask my dad and step mom. Honestly most of the time I did find a way. Either I would get a babysitting job or ask my mom to get it for me so I didn’t have to talk to them.

I just wanted to get that off my mind. Have a great day.

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