In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be how???….)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s “just” a suggestion.)
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On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought????..)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me more time)
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On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(and…I’m taking this because….???)
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On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to…what?)
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On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious?)
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On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
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On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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I got this e-mail from my mother-in-law thought it was funny and just had to share with everyone

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